Energy Whispers: What IS going on? (JULY 2012)

Oh my giddy aunt! What a month it has been and it hasn’t settled down yet? Have you felt it?

What with the Venus Transit, New Moon, Summer Solstice, today’s Full Moon and multiple blasts from the sun including another massive solar flare blasting earth right now, no WONDER we are all feeling it!

Of course there are some people who sail along totally unaffected wondering what on earth I’m going on about, but these messages aren’t for them. The Energy Whispers monthly energy report is for those of us who FEEL life pretty deeply and are looking for an understanding of and some steady ground to stand on through all these changes and shifts.

So how have you been this month?

I know I took more than a couple of days to hibernate under a blanket utterly wiped out with fatigue or fogginess. Many of you tell me your own energy levels have been so up and down you wondered if you were getting ill. Emotions burst out of nowhere, no amount of sleep seemed to be enough and yet at the same time you felt a clarity, inner peace or knowing that everything was OK.

More than ever before, you have told me that in the midst of the chaos you were able to access some kind of reassuring knowing and awareness that all would be well.

On a physical level many of us have been experiencing powerful Detox symptoms such as aches and pains as well as a cleansing of old emotions, some of which you thought you’d dealt with long ago.

Incredible blessings, opportunities and synchronicities have flowed into your lives at the same time as bad news about others. There has been such a contrast between our inner and outer experiences this past month.

My sense is that these extremes, these polarities are our realities stretching out to their furthest limits of contrast before the pendulum swings back to the centre where instead of great highs and lows we find a balanced middle point of flow. Many of you tell me you have felt almost depressed and then swing towards joy and bliss before settling back to centre.

Others have had intense dreams. I can relate to that in particular. It feels as if I am processing so deep, clearing out every dusty corner and working through any unresolved ‘stuff’ in my dream world once and for all.

I have had a lot of emails telling me that you had unusual meaningful encounters with birds and instant manifestation moments. I certainly relate. I had a little Robin hop at my feet and land on my window sill several times (they are my heart totem). Sometimes within moments of the thought you were seeing it manifest outwardly!

For example. I was sat writing my book ‘The Diary of an Awakening Woman’ and as I was writing I was aware that the wording and imagery I felt ‘guided’ to use was quite visual, almost filmic in nature. I had the thought “Oh wouldn’t it be fun to turn my book into a film that could help others”. I didn’t dismiss as I might have done a few years ago, as a flight of fancy. Instead I just let it be and kept writing.

Three hours later I had an email from a film producer asking me if I was interested in turning my book into a film! She happened to be on my mailing list and saw the first segment of my book I had shared exclusively with my mailing list just a short time earlier.

As all these extremes, clearings and feelings settle there is a new level of our being emerging. We have completed yet another turn of the spiral. The vast galactic alignment of this year will be calling us to clear out anything that holds us back from being all we came here to be. In fact it is happening now. Your Soul wisdom will adjust life inside and out until you are lined up with your authentic self.

I do not hold with the belief that if you are having any kind of problems then you aren’t ready for December 21st 2012. That in some way if you are feeling life and experiencing life then you are getting it ‘wrong’. That isn’t helpful and it just doesn’t feel true.

The chaos is part of the transformation. Change is part of being fully alive. There is no destination or end point where you can say you have passed the test and now you are fully enlightened and ready for the 2012 shift. The Shift is happening now and has been building up for hundreds of years and will continue for hundreds of years. We simply live at the apex moment of that shift, the tipping point.

How we respond to it and the state of our own consciousness through it IS something we can consciously affect. How we experience this age of chaos is up to us. This is our Choice Point.

Solar Flares may continue, there will be further moon cycles, world events, big changes, crises on the news……however, how we respond and how we feel and how we act is something we can positively and directly influence right now. And in doing so we set in motion new positive outer manifestations for all.

As within, so without.

So now is the time to ensure you are equipped to ride the waves well, to SHINE through The Shift and remember there is always a still point deep within you anchoring you to the present moment, no matter what is going on around you or within you physically or emotionally.

TIP: How to connect with your own ‘Still Point’.

Sit upright in a chair. One hand over your heart, the other over your lower belly.

Breathe deeply and gently. Allow your weight to sink downwards into your seat, more and more with each breath.

Feel the love in your own heart.

Stay centred right at the core of your heart energy in the centre of your chest.

Breathe in and out of that core and see it/feel it growing brighter and brighter like an eternal candle flame growing bigger and brighter with every breath until its light surrounds you.

Feel the intense peace there in your heart. Know this place holds immense and unchanging stillness no matter what is going on. This is your own place of infinite, unchanging peace and stillness.

Do this regularly to build your connection to your own inner ‘Still Point’.

Dates to watch for this month:

July 3rd Full Moon in Capricorn – A time of being aware of manifestations and outer experiences with others. This moon exaggerates some of the themes mentioned above in regard to how we balance our inner and outer life. This month is about how we use or step into our true power.

July 19th New Moon in Cancer – A time for planting new seeds of nurturing and deep inner growth. For a lovely list of suggested affirmations and wishes to plant around this New Moon see:

To keep an eye on solar flares and other space weather you can follow:

Love and blessings,

My blog site has now moved to Hope to see you there!


AWAKENING TOOLS: “Are there different types of Grounding?”

Yes. There is Energetic Grounding, Physical Grounding, Spiritual Grounding, Emotional Grounding and Mental grounding. For information on Energetic Grounding see this post: ‘Grounding Your LIGHT: For a healthy awakening’


This is more specifically about earthing the bio-electrical current of your body to the surface of Mother Earth, engaging in a healthy energy exchange with bare grass, soil, sand or stone. This direct ‘skin to skin’ contact with the earth helps to discharge positive ions (the bad stuff) in exchange for an influx of negative ions (the good stuff). It’s all about an exchange of electrons (the earth’s subtle energy!). See The Earthing Institute  for more information. 

QUICK GROUNDING TIP: Walk barefoot on mud, sand, soil or concrete where possible.



Grounding is about being present and connected, so emotional grounding is about being present and connected to your emotional self in each moment.

You can learn to feel your emotions and be with them in a way that will transform your life. Emotions are energy in motion (E-Motion!). Healthy energy is energy that is moving. So your emotions are there to keep you healthy. You can live in harmony with your emotions.

For example when an emotion comes up, it is usually old energy from your ‘pain body’ (collection of emotional memories and wounds) being triggered or activated in the present. You can either suppress that emotion, get sucked into its old mental story or you can use it as an opportunity to let go of/transform part of your pain body. This reveals more of your ‘light body’ or TRUESELF and you become present in the ‘now’.

QUICK GROUNDING TIP: When you feel an emotion, pause for a moment and find its accompanying energy sensation/feeling in your body. Breathe into it deeply until you feel clearer again. It is safe to feel your emotions. Breathe.


This is where you consciously bring the light of your soul (your personal bit of Source) into your body and into your life, sharing it with the world via your joys and natural gifts. This is ‘Grounding Your Light’ and is how you bring your Soul Purpose down to earth as a lived reality in the world.

Some spiritual and healing practices can spin you out, raise your vibration and make you feel temporarily ‘spaced out’ until you integrate the shift and ground again. You can help the process with time in stillness, meditation, time in nature, sleep or by using a Guided Energy Meditation such as ‘Grounded and Calm’.

More on Spiritual Grounding can be found in The Grounding Guide.

QUICK GROUNDING TIP: Imagine the light of your Soul Purpose running down through you from Source like a waterfall running in via the top of your head through your body and out of your feet into the earth in a constant stream.


This is when you bring your conscious awareness and mental focus to the here and now. What are you thinking right now? What are you feeling right now? Mental grounding allows you to be fully present in this moment, observing your thoughts, being present in your surroundings experiencing them as they are right now rather than engaging with your day in an automated, unconscious fog, replaying the past or rehearsing the future.  Mental grounding allows you to be CONSCIOUS.

QUICK GROUNDING TIP: Set an alarm every hour and when it goes off stop and notice what you are thinking about right in that moment. Where was your head? This in itself brings you present instantly and helps develop your ‘inner observer’.


The above post is taken from ‘The Grounding Guide’  MP3 audiobook.

Love and blessings,
Kimberley ♥

My blog site has now moved to Hope to see you there!

♥ SHARING IS CARING: Please rate it, like it and share it! Thank you ♥

Energy Whispers: What IS going on? (MAY 2012)

This past month saw many of us reeling from intense emotions, energy surges and life challenges. You might say that just sounds like life, but what I am hearing and sensing is something deeper, something experienced beyond the personal and out into (or in out-to) the collective shared realm.

However the collective ripple effect actually happens it is clear we are connected and that there are waves of growth, healing, breakdown and breakthrough that many of us seem to experience simultaneously. Perhaps as part of this collective ‘shift’ of consciousness.

One of the biggies this past month was an Intuition Upgrade, where our inner wisdom circuits and sensory networks were re-wired, re-booted and recalibrated! So you may have had a few blank spots where you just couldn’t get your usual read on a situation or had bursts of intense psychic activity as new levels of awareness came online.

I heard from many of you who serve from your heart who were really feeling you needed to stop giving so much of yourself and your gifts away for free, not out of greed but because you were feeling depleted and taken advantage of. These feelings surfaced as part of you stepping into greater levels of self-valuing.

There has also been a run of surprising or aggressive outbursts from those around us. Sudden irrational behaviour and attacks that seemed to come right out of left field and knock you flat. I even heard a Hay House author mention recently that a father had squared up to him in his son’s playground baiting him into a fight over an innocent comment. This could be the solar activity which has been busy this past month. This can churn up what I see as dark red energy in peoples’ pain bodies. It is pure survival instinct helplessness and it tends to shows up as anger and is often to do with the ego terrified of its own demise.

This dynamic could also have been related in some way to the Full Moon in Libra on April 6th which brought some intense energies forward, especially for those born under the sun sign of Libra. It arrived with guidance around keeping an eye on tempers and aggression as buried feelings burst forth.

The first week of April was marked by a magnetic filament connected to sunspot AR1450 erupting and hurling a faint CME (Coronal Mass Ejection) in the direction of Earth. There was another huge solar flare on April 16th which sent plasma flares  towards earth over the next few days. April 21-22nd saw the Lyrid Meteor shower and April 24th also saw a geomagnetic storm providing stunning auroras as far south as Ireland. Many of you reported extreme fatigue and migraines.

Read ‘Solar Flares and Sensitive Souls’ for more.

Easter can bring strong death/rebirth experiences on many levels of life and if you are sensitive to and aware of these deeper interconnected realities you will have felt it. It may have shown up as things reaching a climax in relationship issues, an issue you’ve been struggling with for a while coming to a head or a new way clearing before you.


I have been sensing a rise in feminine power lately. I have been dancing with this energy as it surges to see how it is playing out in my life, in the lives of others and how it may express itself through my work later this year. I certainly felt myself shift into alignment with it over my 40th birthday weekend a few days ago and many of you tell me you felt the same. There is a sense of having had enough of playing small or burning out following old out-dated masculine energy (not the same as men themselves) and of needing to explore feminine energy and womanhood (two distinct and different yet interconnected things) in relation to a new form of power emerging in every area of life.

Scorpio Full Moon May 5-6 brings everything that has been hidden to the surface to be healed. It is a supermoon so will seem bigger as it is closer to the Earth and this also exaggerates its effects. It encourages emotional truth and asks us questions about power and how we get it, use it or give it away and how we can move into alignment with our authentic self so we can stand in a new kind of power that emerges from within and is centred in love. Those with a Scorpio moon (that’s me) may have powerful psychic experiences or feel a deep clearing of old wounds or stored energy that will allow for greater freedom and lightness. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself at this time.

Sunday May 20th will see a significant solar eclipse so watch for that. In particular if you are in or near San Francisco for example, you will see a 90% solar eclipse. For more about the eclipse times and degrees in your area see this great EarthSky article. Add to this the energy of a New Moon in Gemini on the same date and you have powerful opportunities to really soar and fly to new heights as the chance for a new chapter in your life unfolds.

Main dates to watch for then are May 5/6th and May 20th.

If you’d like to be informed of solar and celestial activity as it happens to help you understand why you might be feeling like you do then visit

Love and blessings,
Kimberley ♥

My blog site has now moved to Hope to see you there!

♥ If you like this post please rate it, like it, share it and comment below ♥

Spring Equinox – Energy Whispers

The Spring Equinox was today March 20th at 5.14am GMT in the Northern Hemisphere, however effects have been felt for weeks and will continue to affect many of us in all sorts of ways. No matter where you live, and whatever your time zone, we are all connected to the rhythms and cycles of nature, we are PART of nature and experience its dynamic moods and seasons on a deep, inner level.

Whereas in the Northern Hemisphere our days will now grow longer toward Summer, those in the Southern Hemisphere will now start to experience shorter days, through Autumn (Fall) and towards Winter.

The Spring Equinox can be from March 19th – 21st depending on your location. This date range is due to the disparity between the Gregorian calendar year of 365 days and the actual time it takes the Earth to orbit the sun; 365.25 days.

The ‘new life’ energies of this time of year resonate deep in our cells. Many of you tell me you have been feeling it for some time now and want to know “what on earth is going on?”

The Spring Equinox is a time of renewal, regeneration and creativity in abundance. It is a time when all the life force pent up in the seed-casings finally bursts forth revealing the green buds of new life. We experience a raising in frequencies, an upgrade if you like.

Everything that has been stagnant and still during the sleep of the Winter cycle gets a good clear out and we feel inspired to do the same for our homes in our annual ‘spring clean’. This process is happening in our own cells too, in our consciousness and energy systems. We are having a clear out, a rinse, a spring clean inside and out.

You may experience feelings in your body and emotions similar to a Detox; Aches, pains, fatigue, emotional upsurges and needing to sleep a LOT. Personally I get aches in my head, neck, shoulders and down my spine at the Equinoxes and at the Full Moon. These physical sensations may be all mixed up with tingles of excitement and bursts of vitality. It’s an odd mix but that’s the Spring Equinox for you! How are you doing with it? Are you feeling it?

During such an energy shift many of us with sensitive systems and enhanced senses may feel wobbled off centre. This is one of those times of year to be extra aware of getting and staying grounded to Mother Earth. Walk in nature (barefoot is best if poss), sit against a tree, breathe by the sea.

On an esoteric level there is a coming online of what some call ‘5D energies’. For me we are not evolving in a linear way from 3 to 4 to 5D. We are becoming multi-dimensional humans, expanded and opening gradually (unless you experienced a difficult, sudden awakening as I did) to all dimensions at once in a toroidal dynamic of all things evolving in all directions simultaneously. Our minds perceive time and growth in a linear fashion but energy and consciousness don’t work quite like that.

We are growing toward being able to masterfully attune to whichever dimension we want, like a digital radio able to access every possible radio station and with the gentle and skilful turn of a dial or press of a scanning button we can select the frequency we’d like to be tuned into.

It can take a while to get the hang of the controls, buttons and dials and our system needs time to integrate the information from each reality and select the ones best for us in each moment.

Working with my wonderful energy healer Stacy over the past few weeks has very much been about this process. How do I tune in to other dimensions? What do I tune into? How many realms and dimensions am I open to? Is that working for me? What can I tweak and adjust so I am more comfortable?

For me this Equinox carries a lot of that adjustment and attunement-type energy so be gentle with yourself if you are feeling disoriented, achey and tired. It’s as if your consciousness is recalibrating to additional radio stations. Your brain will be re-wiring, your nervous system adjusting, your Chakras wobbling then re-balancing (=emotions all over the place). Trust your own inner wisdom and vibrational intelligence to work this out for you and find harmonious balance over the coming days and weeks. Just feel what is, be with what is, watch it and breathe.

Rest. Drink lots of water. Take soothing warm baths (no chemicals) and sleep as much as you can. Get some sunshine and time outdoors around nature, ride it out and trust the process.

Be clear about what you would like all this new creative energy to flow towards. Set your intentions for the coming year. Plant your own seeds. Now is the time.

Love and blessings,
Kimberley ♥

My blog site has now moved to Hope to see you there!


My amazing Master Energy Healer Stacy Vajta!

CONTACT: Stacy Vajta – Expanded Pathways


Kimberley is an Energy Intuitive who senses and reads the energy and consciousness information of personal and planetary activity. ‘Energy Whispers’ are Kimberley’s energy reports, downloads and glimpses behind the curtain of what is going on at a higher/deeper level that may be affecting how YOU are feeling right now.

 Tools & Teachings for an awakening world:
Connect with Kimberley:


Family Issues and Intuitive Upgrades: My healing journey continues…

In the last two weeks I’ve had two of the biggest “AH-HA!” moments of my life. I mean they were transformational for me and will make a HUGE difference to my health and happiness on almost every level. I’m keen to tell you about it and to see if in sharing my story I might help you make sense of yours (and to hopefully feel less alone)…


Those of you who have been following my blog posts on my own personal inner journey will know that I have been working with Master Energy Healer Stacy Vajta since the end of January this year. I had been struggling to process the intense challenges of the last few years despite leading-edge therapies and love from family and enlightened friends. I had done a lot of inner work and healing but there was so much to process that I could not keep up. I needed help. Opening to a deeper level of help from others is as much a part of my evolution as everything else that is playing out.

The allopathic labels for how my system has responded are: ‘Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome’ and ‘Chronic Fatigue Syndrome’ (Fibromyalgia). I had the same come up after my Mother died back in 1997 and I experienced a Spiritual Emergency. My Chakras blew open and a tsunami of light flooded my system blowing fuses along the way. It is a breaking open. It’s what my system now does to a lesser degree when faced with transformational challenges or influxes of light (growth spurts!), so I am used to it, I understand it as a spiritual energy process and am totally OK with it. What I can’t do is work through it and rebalance my whole system by myself, this is where working with Stacy has been a total blessing.

Many of you will know I am passionate about ensuring that Spiritual Seekers, Sensitives, Intuitives, Healers, Psychics, Lightworkers and awakening souls remain GROUNDED on this path. In my commitment to down-to-earth enlightened living I had somehow started to stream and process all my cosmic and intuitive downloads via my physical body. I had been acting as a full throttle constant ‘step-down transformer’ (calibrating high frequency energy, bringing it down to a vibrational level we can work with and understand with our minds and emotions and ground with our bodies). Don’t get me wrong, this is what we are here to do, we are meant to act as lightning rods, grounding the light of Source down through us, anchoring it to the earth and then sharing that light via our hearts in the world. BUT I had been taking it to the extreme, my Spiritual Emergency back in 1998 had left my Chakras very open to streaming a LOT of light and it was leading to burn out due to the amount of information I work with and the fact that I was processing it all through my physical body too quickly. Add to that the fact that I have been doing all this while setting up a spiritual business on my own and facing multiple bereavements and countless other shocks and it suddenly makes perfect sense why my body might be having a hard time right now. And all this without even mentioning our collective evolution, awakening or ‘ascension’ symptoms! Phew, this having a body bit can really put us through the ringer.

So, in my recent session with Stacy she helped me to adjust my processing settings so I can ‘read’ and interpret the vast expanse of intuitive information in a gentler way, just touching into the knowing with the outer eges of my energy fields at my own pace rather than having to take it all into my cells! This is a speciality of Stacy’s and I am starting to really appreciate her skill at adjusting those inner settings that make a huge difference to how we experience and process our lives inside and out.


My next big “AH-HA!” moment, and this reverberated deep in my soul, came when Stacy helped me become aware that I carry a heavy sense of responsibility for my whole family and their collective enlightenment, even for those who have crossed over! When they were alive I had felt responsible for them and got pulled into the role of carer at a very young age, sowing the seeds of being an ‘over-giver’ in adulthood. Now many of them are in spirit it has shifted slightly (I have done work in this area) but there was still an attachment that needed tweaking. And so we tweaked.

I declared out loud to my step-father recently that the unhealthy and destructive patterns that run through my ancestral line must stop with me. I have always been clear about that, not so much as a decision but as an intuitive knowing. What I didn’t realise is that I had passed this knowing through my early responsibility-bearing ‘carer filter’ and was carrying it for everyone in a way that was unhealthy for me.

I instantly knew what needed to happen and so did Stacy. She helped me shift things before I even verbalised what I was sensing. We helped redirect the energy flow of those family members who were feeding off my energy (across all time and space). Instead of feeding off me as their source of light and transformation, they were now plugged into their own ‘Source -> Earth -> Source’ circuits. Phew, what a relief. I felt my energy instantly lift, like when you’ve been carrying a heavy bag of shopping for ages, you put it down and your arms start to float upwards.

On this path of spiritual transformation many of us out-grow our birth family or family of origin, feeling as if we no longer fit in. Perhaps you never felt you fitted in for whatever reason. If you were adopted it may be the other way around; finding your birth family is what gives you that sense of belonging. Basically it’s about finding your ‘resonant’ family, like-minded people and your soul group. Creating your family of choice is part of growing up not only as individuals but collectively as conscious beings.

It has been a tough road and I have had to let go of a LOT of people who used to be the centre of my world. I held on, working on unconditional acceptance and love but just kept getting bashed over the head. Loving acceptance isn’t quite as easy when in abusive situations and you have to know when to bow out gracefully. I can do the spiritual leapfrog and give you a load of wise platitudes about it but to be honest, for me this process hurt like hell.

That primal, tribal, social pull runs deep in all of us, the need to belong, to be seen and accepted. Breaking away from the pack used to cost lives so the survival response when a family member doesn’t toe the line is strong.

Pain seems to arise when we look for and hope for that sense of belonging, acceptance and validation from the wrong people and places. There is a genuine grieving process when you realise you are shifting vibrationally out of someone’s life, one that must be felt and honoured. For me guilt was always my family’s manipulation tool of choice so that has been one to navigate and overcome as I put my own needs first.

You’d think after ‘losing’ so many people in my life I’d have the hang of this by now but it is a work in progress for sure. Just when I think I’ve come to an authentic place of loving acceptance with my relationship to my family of origin, BAM! along comes something to bring up all those feelings. It is easy to say ‘just love and accept everyone for who they are’ and of course that is the goal and always my intention, but it has to be an authentic journey of growth and heart-opening, it cannot be forced or faked and feelings need to be felt so energy can move and we can reconnect to the love in a genuine way.

Some people find that when they discover their resonant family it greatly enhances their relationships with their family of origin and that is a blessing indeed. That has been my experience in the past. However right now I am attuned to and aware of the challenges in this process shared by many I hear from all over the world, so I am speaking to that.

What I do know is that family issues and breaking away from unhealthy relationships is part of our evolution and it is a pulse surging forth in our collective consciousness right now. We are in a phase of vibrational sorting, ensuring that we are exactly where we need to be and with those people who will help raise us up and allow us to be all we came here to be.

Both of these “AH-HA!” moments have marked important shifts for me that allow me to sit more in my authentic essence. Every challenge is a call further into my power, deeper into my essential self. I have released a heavy load in this latest healing cycle and am now able to access incisive knowing from my ‘wise all-knowing self’ without burning out! Hooray!

What are your experiences with family or personal relationships on this path of spiritual transformation? Do share your story in the comment box below.

Love and blessings,

Kimberley ♥

KIMBERLEY JONES Energy Tools and Soul Skills….for an awakening world

My blog site has now moved to Hope to see you there!


CONTACT: Stacy Vajta – Expanded Pathways


♥ SHARING IS CARING: Please rate it, like it and share it! Thank you ♥

The Way Back to LOVE: My healing journey continues…

Our relationships with others are often a reflection of aspects of our relationship with ourself and our life.

One of the most common issues clients and readers have asked me about over the years is their love life.
“How can I find my Soul Mate, my True Love?”
“Why do I keep ending up with the ‘wrong’ person?”

There are very effective Law of Attraction tools as well as the common guidance I have given to others myself many times and that is to love yourself first, wholly and completely, everything else flows on from there.

But what does this mean in real everyday life experience? How does our inner world and those parts of ourselves left unseen influence our ability to love ourselves fully or attract the kind of love and life we deserve?

As you may know from my previous post The Art of Falling Apart, I am having regular healing sessions with Master Energy Healer Stacy Vajta. I was recently diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue, Adrenal dysfunction and other things which all basically shout: “It’s transformation time again Kimberley. Time for a rest, time to go deeper and time for a growth spurt”.

My ‘homework’ for this week from Stacy has been to love my body more by welcoming my Body Deva or Body Consciousness into my full awareness. I am to love it and pamper it as I would a beloved guest of honour.

So I have been connecting with it as if it were a being in its own right, I have been imagining what my Body Consciousness ‘being’ might look like and what I might say to it.

What would YOU say to your Body Deva if it appeared before you as a wise and separate being?
What would yours need to hear?
What would it need to say to you?

Love your body more and you will get well. Right?

I read it all the time, in newsletters, Facebook posts, blogs, articles and books: “Love yourself and you will find optimum health, true love and life balance”.

What I am realising is that loving myself now doesn’t look quite how it did when I was consciously seeking to love myself several years ago. Back then it certainly worked for me in terms of getting well and then attracting my Love Mate. Excuse me as I digress for a moment and tell you more about that…..

9 years ago I would say I was at my best health-wise, everything was flowing, I felt balanced, I was fit, healthy, happy and grounded. This was after 2 years in semi-retreat where I focussed pretty much exclusively on spiritual contemplation, self-healing and self-care. I was surrounded by healers and teachers who helped me rebuild my strength day after day. After 27 years of stress and trauma I really needed it. I needed that time to heal and discover who I really am. During this period, one of the things I did was plant seeds of intention about my dream partner, my love match, my spiritual twin. I visualised him, dreamed about him and wrote about him in the back of my journal. Then I let go and got on with my life. I didn’t long for him or pine for him, I simply let go, trusted and got on with healing and learning to love myself.

Then one day I did something seemingly unrelated, I looked up old school friends on ‘Friends Reunited’ and sent some emails to see what everyone was up to. Back came an email from a guy I’d sat with in ‘A Level’ Art (age 17/18 yrs) some 10 years earlier. He was living near my home town, so the next time I was back visiting family in Devon we went to the pub for a drink. He met me from my Nan’s house where I was staying. I had an instant sense that I may have just met ‘the one’ I had been writing about, but I played it cool, not wanting to imprint my visions onto the wrong person or get ahead of myself.

It was clear from pretty early on that this tall, dark and handsome man (yes really) was the man I had written about in the back of my journal. He was even wearing the same clothes I had seen in my vision of him! Whether I created this or found it (or both), Neil is indeed my Love Mate, a soul mate who helps me grow through loving kindness and an unending gentle love and acceptance that has transformed how I see myself and the world. He has helped me begin to see the places where I do not love myself as much as he loves me.

So getting back to my earlier thread…recently this learning has come up again, with my homework from Stacy inviting me to love my Body Deva.

Like any slightly dysfunctional relationship, issues are rarely resolved simply by deciding to be nice to each other. The truth of the feelings that are really there bubbling under the surface need to be addressed, faced, felt and possibly expressed in order to return to truth and to make space for love to flow again.

So as I was inviting my Body Deva into my awareness as an honoured guest and imagining placing her at the head of a lovingly adorned dinner table, I became aware of the fact that it didn’t feel authentic. This exercise was helping to reveal my true feelings and they weren’t pretty.

I was angry. I didn’t actually want to give my Body Deva the time of day let alone an honoured place at my imaginary banquet. I was totally P.O’d and I didn’t know why. These feelings took me by surprise. But I tried to just allow them to be there and watched them with curiosity. This all happened last Sunday morning from under my duvet, the feelings surged forward as I was waking. As I had woken up, my homework had drifted into my consciousness and I imagined my Body Deva as my honoured guest at dinner. I was furious.

Instead of resisting the feelings and trying to stick to the plan of what I thought was loving my Body Deva, I allowed myself to breathe and feel all the anger as it surfaced (a different way of loving myself). I let myself just BE with what was happening in that moment. There was no judgement, clever analysis or spiritual platitudes, I just felt it. Having tried dozens of healing modalities, lifestyle changes and special super-nutrition eating plans, what it came down to was just feeling the energy that was there beneath the surface and had previously been buried too deep to access.

What I realised is that I was feeling old anger toward my body, anger that goes back 12 years to when I was seriosuly ill for the first time in my life. I was 27 years old and disabled by what stress and trauma had done to my body. I did a lot of self-healing back then as part of integrating my Spiritual Emergency of 1998 but I don’t think I had really connected with the anger, disappointment, helplessness and frustration I felt towards my body for what I saw as it letting me down.

At 27 years of age I had felt betrayed by my body. Here I am now with similar but much milder symptoms. They are showing me where these unresolved feelings have been sitting, waiting to be acknowledged and brought back into the field of loving acceptance.

If you feel hurt, betrayed or let down by a family member, you won’t heal it by papering over the cracks and trying to be nice to each other. The pain will be sitting beneath the surface influencing and colouring every interaction with that person and affecting your own well-being. Those true feelings, whatever they are need to be met if you are going to move on and if love is going to have a chance of flowing again.

If having tried everything there is simply no way to sort things with some people, we can let them go (in love) or at least take some serious time out. With our bodies obviously we cannot do that, we are committed!

This is what I felt bubbling up inside me last Sunday morning, the feeling of being trapped in a room with no doors or windows with someone who has betrayed me, hurt me and let me down. I felt like screaming. This is apparently a common feeling for those suffering chronic illness or disability but I had not connected with the intensity of these feelings 12 years ago so there they sat in my energy body creating unhealthy patterns. These patterns have at times caused me to push my body, disconnect from it, ignore it, over-give and work too hard. All the while in recent years my body has got bigger and bigger and the symptoms worse and worse as my body tried to get my attention.

So now I am listening, really listening thanks to Stacy. I am opening to an honest dialogue with my Body Deva, I am open to healing that relationship and am taking my time to do this authentically. It is an important step on my way back to love for my physical self and full health. The bigger picture is that this is ultimately part of my being able to ground more in my physical vessel and be a more effective conduit for Grounding the Light and being that interface of spirit and matter that defines the human/spiritual experience.

It really is just the beginning of a new healing cycle and I’ll keep you posted.
If you can relate to anything I have shared in this post please share your story by posting a comment below. I’d love to hear them.

Love and blessings,

Kimberley ♥

Energy Tools and Soul Skills….for an awakening world
My blog site has now moved to Hope to see you there!


CONTACT: Stacy Vajta – Expanded Pathways


♥ SHARING IS CARING: Please rate it, like it and share it! Thank you ♥

11-11-11 Message and Meditation