Awakening to the Authentic YOU – Solar Eclipse/New Moon Energies NOV 2012

We can no longer pretend to be what we are not. Our true selves and true feelings are being called forward now. Activities and people not in line with our integrity will leave our lives. Our personal and collective pain bodies (the energy that keeps us from our awakened self) will reveal themselves plainly to be seen, felt and transformed.

We have reached that awakening moment, the one we have heard about, the moment where the pain of where we are outweighs the fear of moving forward.

The old masks are crumbling, this is a time of death of the old, death of the lies, death of the illusion and birth of the authentic and transparent.

We will feel an immense sense of freedom from the webs of lies as truths are unveiled.

Many souls may leave the planet around this time, taking old paradigm energy with them.

A new sense of harmony will arrive in our renewed, authentic and resonant relationships. We will feel a sense of clarity and power around our true purpose as this new vibrational climate allows it more room to unfold and expand.

The New Moon energy will bring a confidence to express the True YOU.

Sit quietly on Nov 13th and feel into the shift and into this new energy of authenticity and the space it gives you to breathe the breath that is wholly YOU.

Let go of the old, feel the webs detatch from your skin, feel the attachments release, leaving all energy fields sealed, healed and intact.

Feel those old habits, masks and restrictions start to fall away revealing a free, expanded YOU, grounded in the world with healthy boundaries and no apology for who you really are.

Imagine a shower of Light from Source raining down over and through you, cleansing away the old. This is a chance for a fresh start.

Don’t try to figure it all out, don’t analyse it, just breathe, allow the feelings and let go of what no longer serves the full expression of your authentic soul self.

And so it is.

With my love and blessings,
Kimberley ♥

My blog site has now moved to www.kimberleyjones.com Hope to see you there!

SOLAR ECLIPSE AND NEW MOON IN SCORPIO – NOV 13th 2012

 

Energy Whispers: What IS going on? (MAY 2012)

This past month saw many of us reeling from intense emotions, energy surges and life challenges. You might say that just sounds like life, but what I am hearing and sensing is something deeper, something experienced beyond the personal and out into (or in out-to) the collective shared realm.

However the collective ripple effect actually happens it is clear we are connected and that there are waves of growth, healing, breakdown and breakthrough that many of us seem to experience simultaneously. Perhaps as part of this collective ‘shift’ of consciousness.

One of the biggies this past month was an Intuition Upgrade, where our inner wisdom circuits and sensory networks were re-wired, re-booted and recalibrated! So you may have had a few blank spots where you just couldn’t get your usual read on a situation or had bursts of intense psychic activity as new levels of awareness came online.

I heard from many of you who serve from your heart who were really feeling you needed to stop giving so much of yourself and your gifts away for free, not out of greed but because you were feeling depleted and taken advantage of. These feelings surfaced as part of you stepping into greater levels of self-valuing.

There has also been a run of surprising or aggressive outbursts from those around us. Sudden irrational behaviour and attacks that seemed to come right out of left field and knock you flat. I even heard a Hay House author mention recently that a father had squared up to him in his son’s playground baiting him into a fight over an innocent comment. This could be the solar activity which has been busy this past month. This can churn up what I see as dark red energy in peoples’ pain bodies. It is pure survival instinct helplessness and it tends to shows up as anger and is often to do with the ego terrified of its own demise.

This dynamic could also have been related in some way to the Full Moon in Libra on April 6th which brought some intense energies forward, especially for those born under the sun sign of Libra. It arrived with guidance around keeping an eye on tempers and aggression as buried feelings burst forth.

The first week of April was marked by a magnetic filament connected to sunspot AR1450 erupting and hurling a faint CME (Coronal Mass Ejection) in the direction of Earth. There was another huge solar flare on April 16th which sent plasma flares  towards earth over the next few days. April 21-22nd saw the Lyrid Meteor shower and April 24th also saw a geomagnetic storm providing stunning auroras as far south as Ireland. Many of you reported extreme fatigue and migraines.

Read ‘Solar Flares and Sensitive Souls’ for more.

Easter can bring strong death/rebirth experiences on many levels of life and if you are sensitive to and aware of these deeper interconnected realities you will have felt it. It may have shown up as things reaching a climax in relationship issues, an issue you’ve been struggling with for a while coming to a head or a new way clearing before you.

LOOKING AHEAD…

I have been sensing a rise in feminine power lately. I have been dancing with this energy as it surges to see how it is playing out in my life, in the lives of others and how it may express itself through my work later this year. I certainly felt myself shift into alignment with it over my 40th birthday weekend a few days ago and many of you tell me you felt the same. There is a sense of having had enough of playing small or burning out following old out-dated masculine energy (not the same as men themselves) and of needing to explore feminine energy and womanhood (two distinct and different yet interconnected things) in relation to a new form of power emerging in every area of life.

Scorpio Full Moon May 5-6 brings everything that has been hidden to the surface to be healed. It is a supermoon so will seem bigger as it is closer to the Earth and this also exaggerates its effects. It encourages emotional truth and asks us questions about power and how we get it, use it or give it away and how we can move into alignment with our authentic self so we can stand in a new kind of power that emerges from within and is centred in love. Those with a Scorpio moon (that’s me) may have powerful psychic experiences or feel a deep clearing of old wounds or stored energy that will allow for greater freedom and lightness. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself at this time.

Sunday May 20th will see a significant solar eclipse so watch for that. In particular if you are in or near San Francisco for example, you will see a 90% solar eclipse. For more about the eclipse times and degrees in your area see this great EarthSky article. Add to this the energy of a New Moon in Gemini on the same date and you have powerful opportunities to really soar and fly to new heights as the chance for a new chapter in your life unfolds.

Main dates to watch for then are May 5/6th and May 20th.

If you’d like to be informed of solar and celestial activity as it happens to help you understand why you might be feeling like you do then visit http://www.spaceweather.com/

Love and blessings,
Kimberley ♥

My blog site has now moved to www.kimberleyjones.com Hope to see you there!

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Grounding your LIGHT: For a Healthy Awakening

“What do you mean by ‘grounding’? What is it that I am grounding?”

You are made of energy.

Everything is made of energy or has a vibrational version that resembles the physical version.

Through you runs something similar to an electrical current running through a toaster or television, let’s call this your ‘bio-energy’.

The current running through your household devices comes from the mains supply or electrical ‘grid’ (unless you are off-grid!) streaming into your home. In subtle energy terms or spiritual terms this current also comes from a mains supply, one referred to as Source, The Great Central Sun, the Divine, God, The Creator or whatever name resonates with you.

In order for you (and your toaster) to maintain healthy flow of energy without circuits and fuses blowing, there must be an earthing agent, a grounding device or connection that allows the mains energy to flow through the conduit (you or the toaster!) and ground itself in the earth beneath you. Whether bio-energy or subtle energy, both need to be grounded.

For people experiencing ‘awakening’ or spontaneous evolution, the influx of this mains energy (often referred to as ‘Light’) increases dramatically.

The flow can also increase as a result of intentional spiritual or psychic practices.

When the inflow increases, active grounding becomes more necessary to avoid ‘burn out’, excess psychic activity, hyper-sensitivity, energy build-up or stagnation. More Light coming in means more of your ‘stuff’ comes up, your ‘baggage’ or ‘pain body’ gets stimulated ready for transformation. Without the other end of your system being grounded the clearing process is obstructed and any old unwanted energy cannot flow freely away.

Forgive the graphic analogy but if you don’t ground your energy it’s a bit like taking in more and more food or using a cleansing diet without ever going to the toilet! This becomes even more necessary if you are engaging in personal growth or spiritual practices or are experiencing spontaneous spiritual emergence because it stirs up your energy.

GROUNDING TIP: Go barefoot where possible on the naked earth (soil, sand, stone or grass). Just 15 minutes can totally reboot and refresh your system, reducing stress, inflammation, calming emotions, settling a busy mind, easing psychic sensitivity and helping you think clearly and manifest successfully.

FROM ‘The Grounding Guide’  an 8 part Audiobook DOWNLOAD
By Kimberley Jones

Ref: The Earthing Institute

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Tools & Teachings for an Awakening World
My blog site has now moved to www.kimberleyjones.com Hope to see you there!

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Spring Equinox – Energy Whispers

The Spring Equinox was today March 20th at 5.14am GMT in the Northern Hemisphere, however effects have been felt for weeks and will continue to affect many of us in all sorts of ways. No matter where you live, and whatever your time zone, we are all connected to the rhythms and cycles of nature, we are PART of nature and experience its dynamic moods and seasons on a deep, inner level.

Whereas in the Northern Hemisphere our days will now grow longer toward Summer, those in the Southern Hemisphere will now start to experience shorter days, through Autumn (Fall) and towards Winter.

The Spring Equinox can be from March 19th – 21st depending on your location. This date range is due to the disparity between the Gregorian calendar year of 365 days and the actual time it takes the Earth to orbit the sun; 365.25 days.

The ‘new life’ energies of this time of year resonate deep in our cells. Many of you tell me you have been feeling it for some time now and want to know “what on earth is going on?”

The Spring Equinox is a time of renewal, regeneration and creativity in abundance. It is a time when all the life force pent up in the seed-casings finally bursts forth revealing the green buds of new life. We experience a raising in frequencies, an upgrade if you like.

Everything that has been stagnant and still during the sleep of the Winter cycle gets a good clear out and we feel inspired to do the same for our homes in our annual ‘spring clean’. This process is happening in our own cells too, in our consciousness and energy systems. We are having a clear out, a rinse, a spring clean inside and out.

You may experience feelings in your body and emotions similar to a Detox; Aches, pains, fatigue, emotional upsurges and needing to sleep a LOT. Personally I get aches in my head, neck, shoulders and down my spine at the Equinoxes and at the Full Moon. These physical sensations may be all mixed up with tingles of excitement and bursts of vitality. It’s an odd mix but that’s the Spring Equinox for you! How are you doing with it? Are you feeling it?

During such an energy shift many of us with sensitive systems and enhanced senses may feel wobbled off centre. This is one of those times of year to be extra aware of getting and staying grounded to Mother Earth. Walk in nature (barefoot is best if poss), sit against a tree, breathe by the sea.

On an esoteric level there is a coming online of what some call ‘5D energies’. For me we are not evolving in a linear way from 3 to 4 to 5D. We are becoming multi-dimensional humans, expanded and opening gradually (unless you experienced a difficult, sudden awakening as I did) to all dimensions at once in a toroidal dynamic of all things evolving in all directions simultaneously. Our minds perceive time and growth in a linear fashion but energy and consciousness don’t work quite like that.

We are growing toward being able to masterfully attune to whichever dimension we want, like a digital radio able to access every possible radio station and with the gentle and skilful turn of a dial or press of a scanning button we can select the frequency we’d like to be tuned into.

It can take a while to get the hang of the controls, buttons and dials and our system needs time to integrate the information from each reality and select the ones best for us in each moment.

Working with my wonderful energy healer Stacy over the past few weeks has very much been about this process. How do I tune in to other dimensions? What do I tune into? How many realms and dimensions am I open to? Is that working for me? What can I tweak and adjust so I am more comfortable?

For me this Equinox carries a lot of that adjustment and attunement-type energy so be gentle with yourself if you are feeling disoriented, achey and tired. It’s as if your consciousness is recalibrating to additional radio stations. Your brain will be re-wiring, your nervous system adjusting, your Chakras wobbling then re-balancing (=emotions all over the place). Trust your own inner wisdom and vibrational intelligence to work this out for you and find harmonious balance over the coming days and weeks. Just feel what is, be with what is, watch it and breathe.

Rest. Drink lots of water. Take soothing warm baths (no chemicals) and sleep as much as you can. Get some sunshine and time outdoors around nature, ride it out and trust the process.

Be clear about what you would like all this new creative energy to flow towards. Set your intentions for the coming year. Plant your own seeds. Now is the time.

Love and blessings,
Kimberley ♥

My blog site has now moved to www.kimberleyjones.com Hope to see you there!

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My amazing Master Energy Healer Stacy Vajta!

CONTACT: Stacy Vajta – Expanded Pathways www.expandedpathways.com

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WHAT ARE ‘ENERGY WHISPERS’?
Kimberley is an Energy Intuitive who senses and reads the energy and consciousness information of personal and planetary activity. ‘Energy Whispers’ are Kimberley’s energy reports, downloads and glimpses behind the curtain of what is going on at a higher/deeper level that may be affecting how YOU are feeling right now.

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 Tools & Teachings for an awakening world: www.e-wakening.com
Connect with Kimberley: www.kimberleyjones.com

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Family Issues and Intuitive Upgrades: My healing journey continues…

In the last two weeks I’ve had two of the biggest “AH-HA!” moments of my life. I mean they were transformational for me and will make a HUGE difference to my health and happiness on almost every level. I’m keen to tell you about it and to see if in sharing my story I might help you make sense of yours (and to hopefully feel less alone)…

GIVING MY INTUITIVE POWER A MAKEOVER!

Those of you who have been following my blog posts on my own personal inner journey will know that I have been working with Master Energy Healer Stacy Vajta since the end of January this year. I had been struggling to process the intense challenges of the last few years despite leading-edge therapies and love from family and enlightened friends. I had done a lot of inner work and healing but there was so much to process that I could not keep up. I needed help. Opening to a deeper level of help from others is as much a part of my evolution as everything else that is playing out.

The allopathic labels for how my system has responded are: ‘Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome’ and ‘Chronic Fatigue Syndrome’ (Fibromyalgia). I had the same come up after my Mother died back in 1997 and I experienced a Spiritual Emergency. My Chakras blew open and a tsunami of light flooded my system blowing fuses along the way. It is a breaking open. It’s what my system now does to a lesser degree when faced with transformational challenges or influxes of light (growth spurts!), so I am used to it, I understand it as a spiritual energy process and am totally OK with it. What I can’t do is work through it and rebalance my whole system by myself, this is where working with Stacy has been a total blessing.

Many of you will know I am passionate about ensuring that Spiritual Seekers, Sensitives, Intuitives, Healers, Psychics, Lightworkers and awakening souls remain GROUNDED on this path. In my commitment to down-to-earth enlightened living I had somehow started to stream and process all my cosmic and intuitive downloads via my physical body. I had been acting as a full throttle constant ‘step-down transformer’ (calibrating high frequency energy, bringing it down to a vibrational level we can work with and understand with our minds and emotions and ground with our bodies). Don’t get me wrong, this is what we are here to do, we are meant to act as lightning rods, grounding the light of Source down through us, anchoring it to the earth and then sharing that light via our hearts in the world. BUT I had been taking it to the extreme, my Spiritual Emergency back in 1998 had left my Chakras very open to streaming a LOT of light and it was leading to burn out due to the amount of information I work with and the fact that I was processing it all through my physical body too quickly. Add to that the fact that I have been doing all this while setting up a spiritual business on my own and facing multiple bereavements and countless other shocks and it suddenly makes perfect sense why my body might be having a hard time right now. And all this without even mentioning our collective evolution, awakening or ‘ascension’ symptoms! Phew, this having a body bit can really put us through the ringer.

So, in my recent session with Stacy she helped me to adjust my processing settings so I can ‘read’ and interpret the vast expanse of intuitive information in a gentler way, just touching into the knowing with the outer eges of my energy fields at my own pace rather than having to take it all into my cells! This is a speciality of Stacy’s and I am starting to really appreciate her skill at adjusting those inner settings that make a huge difference to how we experience and process our lives inside and out.

FAMILY ISSUES ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH

My next big “AH-HA!” moment, and this reverberated deep in my soul, came when Stacy helped me become aware that I carry a heavy sense of responsibility for my whole family and their collective enlightenment, even for those who have crossed over! When they were alive I had felt responsible for them and got pulled into the role of carer at a very young age, sowing the seeds of being an ‘over-giver’ in adulthood. Now many of them are in spirit it has shifted slightly (I have done work in this area) but there was still an attachment that needed tweaking. And so we tweaked.

I declared out loud to my step-father recently that the unhealthy and destructive patterns that run through my ancestral line must stop with me. I have always been clear about that, not so much as a decision but as an intuitive knowing. What I didn’t realise is that I had passed this knowing through my early responsibility-bearing ‘carer filter’ and was carrying it for everyone in a way that was unhealthy for me.

I instantly knew what needed to happen and so did Stacy. She helped me shift things before I even verbalised what I was sensing. We helped redirect the energy flow of those family members who were feeding off my energy (across all time and space). Instead of feeding off me as their source of light and transformation, they were now plugged into their own ‘Source -> Earth -> Source’ circuits. Phew, what a relief. I felt my energy instantly lift, like when you’ve been carrying a heavy bag of shopping for ages, you put it down and your arms start to float upwards.

On this path of spiritual transformation many of us out-grow our birth family or family of origin, feeling as if we no longer fit in. Perhaps you never felt you fitted in for whatever reason. If you were adopted it may be the other way around; finding your birth family is what gives you that sense of belonging. Basically it’s about finding your ‘resonant’ family, like-minded people and your soul group. Creating your family of choice is part of growing up not only as individuals but collectively as conscious beings.

It has been a tough road and I have had to let go of a LOT of people who used to be the centre of my world. I held on, working on unconditional acceptance and love but just kept getting bashed over the head. Loving acceptance isn’t quite as easy when in abusive situations and you have to know when to bow out gracefully. I can do the spiritual leapfrog and give you a load of wise platitudes about it but to be honest, for me this process hurt like hell.

That primal, tribal, social pull runs deep in all of us, the need to belong, to be seen and accepted. Breaking away from the pack used to cost lives so the survival response when a family member doesn’t toe the line is strong.

Pain seems to arise when we look for and hope for that sense of belonging, acceptance and validation from the wrong people and places. There is a genuine grieving process when you realise you are shifting vibrationally out of someone’s life, one that must be felt and honoured. For me guilt was always my family’s manipulation tool of choice so that has been one to navigate and overcome as I put my own needs first.

You’d think after ‘losing’ so many people in my life I’d have the hang of this by now but it is a work in progress for sure. Just when I think I’ve come to an authentic place of loving acceptance with my relationship to my family of origin, BAM! along comes something to bring up all those feelings. It is easy to say ‘just love and accept everyone for who they are’ and of course that is the goal and always my intention, but it has to be an authentic journey of growth and heart-opening, it cannot be forced or faked and feelings need to be felt so energy can move and we can reconnect to the love in a genuine way.

Some people find that when they discover their resonant family it greatly enhances their relationships with their family of origin and that is a blessing indeed. That has been my experience in the past. However right now I am attuned to and aware of the challenges in this process shared by many I hear from all over the world, so I am speaking to that.

What I do know is that family issues and breaking away from unhealthy relationships is part of our evolution and it is a pulse surging forth in our collective consciousness right now. We are in a phase of vibrational sorting, ensuring that we are exactly where we need to be and with those people who will help raise us up and allow us to be all we came here to be.

Both of these “AH-HA!” moments have marked important shifts for me that allow me to sit more in my authentic essence. Every challenge is a call further into my power, deeper into my essential self. I have released a heavy load in this latest healing cycle and am now able to access incisive knowing from my ‘wise all-knowing self’ without burning out! Hooray!

What are your experiences with family or personal relationships on this path of spiritual transformation? Do share your story in the comment box below.

Love and blessings,

Kimberley ♥

KIMBERLEY JONES Energy Tools and Soul Skills….for an awakening world

My blog site has now moved to www.kimberleyjones.com Hope to see you there!

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CONTACT: Stacy Vajta – Expanded Pathways www.expandedpathways.com

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Gloriously Imperfect – Letting go of the ‘Nice Girl’: My healing journey continues…

OK so what has face ache got to do with being a ‘Nice Girl’?

My face has been hurting. My jaw, lower teeth, ear and generally the right side of my head. I had another healing session with Stacy last week where she did some energy work in that area for me. It certainly got some energy moving. I have seen many lists of ‘ascension symptoms’ which feature the pains I speak of. All I know for sure is what I am feeling right now, in this moment with all my senses; my 5th, 6th and enhanced senses.

I try to pay attention to whatever is loudest and right now what is loudest is my physical body, my physical felt sense of what is going on within the boundary of my skin.

As well as the pains around my jaw, teeth, face and ear I’ve also had what feel like small electric shocks all over my body.

I have found it isn’t helpful for me when other people try to tell me what I am feeling or why I am feeling it. When my physical body is shouting it is a wonderful reminder for me that I need to listen to myself, to my own body, to my own intuition and just BE with whatever is going on. The widom of my own body has the answers that are relevant to me and my journey and I must consult my own inner oracle.

So that’s what I have been doing with support from Stacy.

Slowly this week I have become aware of the energy, emotion and information held inside the physical pains I’ve been having. I am feeling it because that energy, emotion and information is now on the move. “Feelings are healings in progress”. Something that has been sat there in my jaw joint (TMJ) is ready to shift and transform.

So I sent up a request to my unseen Team of helpers. I asked for their assistance in becoming aware of and letting go of whatever I needed to let go of in order to be free of this pain. I asked for help in relaxing into the feelings. Help came.

Along with a momentary intensification of the physical feelings came a flood of unspoken truths and unexpressed feelings.

Releasing from my face, jaw and teeth was a stream of old energy and information. It manifested as a stream of multiple flashbacks and spontaneous daydreams of all the times I swallowed my truth or put my needs last in order to be a ‘Nice Girl’.

I witnessed all the times people had disrespected me and I had let it slide because I didn’t want to upset anyone, or been too young to assert myself.  In the out-going stream I saw every time I’d had my spirit squashed by an over-bearing character but kept shtum because I was afraid of conflict. I witnessed many of the times I had put someone else’s needs before my own. It all came rushing through my awareness and I watched it and felt it as it whooshed by like high-speed traffic.

My Nice-Girl-programming was reinforced with violence, aggression and manipulation so it was planted deep. As I am growing and being called to speak my truth as a teacher and leader and assert clear boundaries in the world it is bring up a lot for me to heal and clear about this. That programming is being challenged within me now and of course it also ties into the collective feminine wound of abuse and persecution through the ages that comes up or gets triggered as a woman steps into her power, as well as each month during the monthly cycle (PMS= Clearing/transmuting the feminine pain body).

A pocket of suppressed power energy had built up in my jaw joint, resulting in me grinding my teeth at night and clenching my jaw unconsciously. I am pretty sure that my Nice-Girl-programming has also been behind ongoing weight issues. These issues can apply to the Nice Boy too of course, however I cannot speak from personal experience about how this might be for a boy/man.

Try this quick checklist based on one by Karen R Koenig to see if you have a ‘Nice Girl’ problem:

Circle the number that best describes in general how you think, feel, or act:

1 = Rarely/Never          2 = Sometimes          3 = Often          4 = Always

___  1.  I jump in and take care of family members when others could but don’t or won’t.

___  2.  I feel guilty whenever I say no to family members or disappoint them.

___  3.  I avoid burdening family members with my problems.

___  4.  I put family members’ needs before mine at my own expense.

___  5.  I take care of friends more than they take care of me.

___  6.  I feel guilty and bad whenever I say no to friends or disappoint them.

___  7.  I am there for friends even when they’re not there for me.

___  8.  I put friends’ needs before mine at my own expense.

___  9.  Even though it stresses me out, I push myself to give my all at work.

___  10. I pick up co-workers’/bosses’ slack and rarely get credit for it.

___  11. People at work take advantage of my good and giving nature.

___  12. I stress myself out by saying yes to people when I know I should say no.

___  13. I feel in the wrong and apologize automatically even when I’m not at fault.

___  14. I keep silent about what’s on my mind rather than speak up.

___  15. I feel that whatever I do isn’t enough with friends, family, at work, and at play.

___  16. If I don’t do something perfectly, I feel like a failure.

___  17. I’m mortified when I make mistakes because of what people will think of me.

___  18. I have an overwhelming need for people to like/love/accept/approve of me.

___  19. I avoid making waves.

___  20. I go out of my way not to hurt people’s feelings and end up being dishonest.


What’s Your Score?

Here’s how to score this test.  Give yourself 4 points for each Always answer, 3 for Often, 2 for Sometimes, and 1 for Rarely/Never, then add up your points.

Now look at the chart below and see where your score falls:

60-80 — You are a people pleaser. You are draining your energy and giving your power away. This could make you unwell. Time to be nicer to YOU.

45-59 — You put others before yourself and it is costing you dearly. Martyrdom is not cool.

25-44 — Time to check in and keep an honest eye on your behaviour and beliefs about your own self-worth

20-24 — Being too nice is not your problem.

The energy in my jaw and face is moving and as it moves I am experiencing it as anger. I see it as dark, sludgy red energy coming out of my face. I wasn’t aware of feeling anger at the time of each of the scenarios I speak of above, but anger is usually some degree of helplessness when you get down to it, powerlessness. I had suppressed my power and felt helpless. I was pushing my own needs and feelings to the bottom of the pile. I was not taught as a young girl how to stand up for myself, take care of my own needs or speak my truth in a calm, assertive way. I was taught, largely by example to smile and swallow the feelings. Be a Nice Girl, please others or else. I have also carried a sense of responsibility for healing my family, for being their source of light, which I am now releasing.

Over the top of this dark red energy I noticed another layer of vibrational information that was keeping this healing from flowing as freely as it might. Something was in the way. The Nice-Girl-programming that led me to say nothing in the first place was now keeping me from giving myself permission to feel the full extent of the anger. Nice Girls don’t get angry, right? Or so my system appeared to believe.

Now, many people who knew me from my late teens and early 20s might might not believe that I had any problem speaking my truth. As a carer for my Mother for 11 years through Cancer, I had become incapable of BS and was very out-spoken, largely to protect the crumbling heart that lay behind the facade. But when she died, all that stopped. I didn’t need to be her strength anymore, I didn’t need to keep it together. And so I promptly fell apart.

I digress. The Nice-Girl-programming was keeping me from really being with my feelings and the energy that was on the move, it was blocking its flow. That programming was mainly made up of old fear (fear of violence, fear of disapproval etc) and so I started there. I gently allowed myself to feel the fears that had been instilled in me to prevent me from meeting my needs or answering back in my early years (I made up for it later!), I gently breathed into the feelings. This is very old stuff you see. I have worked on/played extensively with all this over the years so this isn’t a new healing journey for me. It’s just that this week this particular piece of healing is happening and is coming out of my jaw! So I’m going with it.

Incidentally I’ve also noticed that the spiritual path can really plug into the Nice-Girl-programming getting all mushed up with ideas of saintly martyrdom, selflessness and being the angelic, ethereal picture of perfect femininity, kindness and endless compassion. It is an ideal, like the Olympic Gold for those with Nice-Girl-programming and it can be a hard one to ground and let go of. It can also be the one that leads you to burn out. I know that one very well.

My higher self knows that the ‘story’ part of all this is irrelevant, it’s all just energy and energy can change in an instant. However, I feel deeply that my path in this lifetime is to grow, awaken and transform WITH my physical body, embracing my emotions and my humanity. I do not wish to hover above my body seeing everything from my Crown Chakra perspective and judging anything lower than that. I have no desire to transcend the human experience. We are all here to bring heaven down to EARTH, to enjoy every reality and dimension whilst always knowing we are the awareness having the experience. Spiritual beings having a human experience and celebrating every bit of it. Down to earth ascension and every day enlightenment. My shift now is learning how to do that without taking on everything that isn’t mine and trying to process it through my physical body. Something Stacy has really helped me with during our healing sessions.

So when a pain is there I feel it, I allow myself to breathe towards it, to relax into it rather than clench away from it or do a spiritual leapfrog over the top of it. Then it moves and is gone for good. Another deeper piece of the same issue held in my Pain Body may surface later, but for now that bit is done.

Let me just say that of course there is nothing wrong with being a nice person. For me however, being nice was a behaviour forced upon me through fear, a behaviour instilled in me through manipulation (parental and societal) and one placed higher than my own well-being. ‘Nice’ became a replacement for the real me. That is when it is unhealthy, when it is a mask for suppressed pain and keeps men and women from being their TRUE selves or speaking their truth.

As a sensitive, intuitive, empath (INFP) my own health, happiness and well-being depends upon me staying up to date with what I am feeling on every level and being present with what is. In order to do that I had to learn a few years ago to give myself permission to feel and acknowledge my real feelings. That was a breakthrough. These days if I sit on something that needs expressing I feel it in my body as discomfort. When I say “express” that can mean journalling, laying down and breathing, feeling it privately or saying just what needs to be said, to the right person, with the right degree of power in the perfect moment. That last part is what keeps our Throat Chakra (and Thyroid) healthy by the way.

So I have been breathing and just being with the aches and pains in my face and jaw, watching, feeling and allowing. As that old suppressed helplessness and anger releases, so it turns into pure power and love rushes in to fill the space it leaves behind. When old anger first starts to move it can come out a bit messy, that’s OK. Don’t be hard on yourself. Try seeing it as a power surge. Eventually the flow tempers itself and you will experience a new level of personal power, self-esteem and self-respect. The messy part can be done with a healer, a loved one or in your journal; in a safe space.

Nice Girls need to allow their anger to flow when it shows up because it quickly opens the door to authentic intuitive power and a renewed sense of self-esteem. It doesn’t have to be taken out on others, just felt……breathed and felt. Personally I have found those moments when it does all burst out to be some of the most transformational times in my life. When women have a hard time at Menopause, it is often relative to the degree they have suppressed their true self, true needs and true feelings. Hormones more easily stay in balance when we speak our truth, honour our needs and keep our energy flowing. Our Chakras help keep our energy flowing and they also relate to each of our glands and hormones. Our hormones keep our emotions in balance. It is all connected. Keep our truth flowing, our power flowing and look after our own needs at least as well as we do other peoples’ and we have more chance of a graceful monthly cycle and transition post menses.

Generally if like this week I am processing some anger (suppressed power), I try to simply feel and express how I am feeling. I was with my partner and feeling all this stuff bubbling up and it would have been so easy to either swallow it and say I was fine or just spray it all over him, project it onto him or take it out on him. But that doesn’t actually shift the energy, it just makes a mess, which is OK too but not my intention. So I told him I was feeling a lot, I was struggling and needed some space (and hugs too). Instead of hiding my feelings trying to be nice, I let myself be an almighty grump but by myself, just breathing and feeling.

About 10 years ago, one of my male spiritual teachers really helped me with this. He was 30 years my senior, perfect to help me with any Father issues relating to the Nice-Girl-programming I carried. He simply said “You don’t need to smile at me. Only smile if you really feel it, only smile if you really mean it. You don’t need to pretend with me and you don’t need to please me. My ego doesn’t need your smile”. THAT was a transformational moment for me. I had always been known as ‘smiley’, people liked it. It was my mask.

I was free, at least when around him. It was my first taste of unconditional acceptance, the love flowed toward me even when I was outrageously angry, messy and emotional. That was a gift. It gave me the experience of being lovable no matter how I felt. It was contrary to my programming.

So whatever I am feeling now, when I can unconditionally allow and accept it all and love my own truth, when I can sit with it unafraid to feel it, not try to fix it, suppress it or judge it….then it liberates me and I can offer that space authentically to others. I only react to other people expressing their feelings if I am not giving myself full and loving permission to do the same. It wouldn’t have been that long ago that even reading this kind of blog would have pushed my buttons because I wasn’t giving myself permission to be this authentic. We can’t love ourselves fully if we are concerned what others think of us or if we are trying to live up to some unrealistically perfect, spiritually sanitised standard constantly seeking approval from others or more ‘likes’, Facebook friends, glowing comments and ‘shares’!

I am a number 2 on the Enneagram, a ‘people pleaser’. I used to try to please from a place of fear and lack. Now I am growing to a place of doing so rather from a place of LOVE and fullness.

When we love ourselves for ALL that we are, on every level of consciousness and we are no longer afraid of our deepest feelings (our own shadow) then we can enjoy freedom to express the fullness of ourselves and be authentic and it becomes possible to love others in all their messy and glorious imperfection too!

Love and blessings,

Kimberley ♥

KIMBERLEY JONES
Energy Tools and Soul Skills….for an awakening world

My blog site has now moved to www.kimberleyjones.com Hope to see you there!

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CONTACT:
Stacy Vajta – Expanded Pathways
www.expandedpathways.com

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The Way Back to LOVE: My healing journey continues…

Our relationships with others are often a reflection of aspects of our relationship with ourself and our life.

One of the most common issues clients and readers have asked me about over the years is their love life.
“How can I find my Soul Mate, my True Love?”
“Why do I keep ending up with the ‘wrong’ person?”

There are very effective Law of Attraction tools as well as the common guidance I have given to others myself many times and that is to love yourself first, wholly and completely, everything else flows on from there.

But what does this mean in real everyday life experience? How does our inner world and those parts of ourselves left unseen influence our ability to love ourselves fully or attract the kind of love and life we deserve?

As you may know from my previous post The Art of Falling Apart, I am having regular healing sessions with Master Energy Healer Stacy Vajta. I was recently diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue, Adrenal dysfunction and other things which all basically shout: “It’s transformation time again Kimberley. Time for a rest, time to go deeper and time for a growth spurt”.

My ‘homework’ for this week from Stacy has been to love my body more by welcoming my Body Deva or Body Consciousness into my full awareness. I am to love it and pamper it as I would a beloved guest of honour.

So I have been connecting with it as if it were a being in its own right, I have been imagining what my Body Consciousness ‘being’ might look like and what I might say to it.

What would YOU say to your Body Deva if it appeared before you as a wise and separate being?
What would yours need to hear?
What would it need to say to you?

Love your body more and you will get well. Right?

I read it all the time, in newsletters, Facebook posts, blogs, articles and books: “Love yourself and you will find optimum health, true love and life balance”.

What I am realising is that loving myself now doesn’t look quite how it did when I was consciously seeking to love myself several years ago. Back then it certainly worked for me in terms of getting well and then attracting my Love Mate. Excuse me as I digress for a moment and tell you more about that…..

9 years ago I would say I was at my best health-wise, everything was flowing, I felt balanced, I was fit, healthy, happy and grounded. This was after 2 years in semi-retreat where I focussed pretty much exclusively on spiritual contemplation, self-healing and self-care. I was surrounded by healers and teachers who helped me rebuild my strength day after day. After 27 years of stress and trauma I really needed it. I needed that time to heal and discover who I really am. During this period, one of the things I did was plant seeds of intention about my dream partner, my love match, my spiritual twin. I visualised him, dreamed about him and wrote about him in the back of my journal. Then I let go and got on with my life. I didn’t long for him or pine for him, I simply let go, trusted and got on with healing and learning to love myself.

Then one day I did something seemingly unrelated, I looked up old school friends on ‘Friends Reunited’ and sent some emails to see what everyone was up to. Back came an email from a guy I’d sat with in ‘A Level’ Art (age 17/18 yrs) some 10 years earlier. He was living near my home town, so the next time I was back visiting family in Devon we went to the pub for a drink. He met me from my Nan’s house where I was staying. I had an instant sense that I may have just met ‘the one’ I had been writing about, but I played it cool, not wanting to imprint my visions onto the wrong person or get ahead of myself.

It was clear from pretty early on that this tall, dark and handsome man (yes really) was the man I had written about in the back of my journal. He was even wearing the same clothes I had seen in my vision of him! Whether I created this or found it (or both), Neil is indeed my Love Mate, a soul mate who helps me grow through loving kindness and an unending gentle love and acceptance that has transformed how I see myself and the world. He has helped me begin to see the places where I do not love myself as much as he loves me.

So getting back to my earlier thread…recently this learning has come up again, with my homework from Stacy inviting me to love my Body Deva.

Like any slightly dysfunctional relationship, issues are rarely resolved simply by deciding to be nice to each other. The truth of the feelings that are really there bubbling under the surface need to be addressed, faced, felt and possibly expressed in order to return to truth and to make space for love to flow again.

So as I was inviting my Body Deva into my awareness as an honoured guest and imagining placing her at the head of a lovingly adorned dinner table, I became aware of the fact that it didn’t feel authentic. This exercise was helping to reveal my true feelings and they weren’t pretty.

I was angry. I didn’t actually want to give my Body Deva the time of day let alone an honoured place at my imaginary banquet. I was totally P.O’d and I didn’t know why. These feelings took me by surprise. But I tried to just allow them to be there and watched them with curiosity. This all happened last Sunday morning from under my duvet, the feelings surged forward as I was waking. As I had woken up, my homework had drifted into my consciousness and I imagined my Body Deva as my honoured guest at dinner. I was furious.

Instead of resisting the feelings and trying to stick to the plan of what I thought was loving my Body Deva, I allowed myself to breathe and feel all the anger as it surfaced (a different way of loving myself). I let myself just BE with what was happening in that moment. There was no judgement, clever analysis or spiritual platitudes, I just felt it. Having tried dozens of healing modalities, lifestyle changes and special super-nutrition eating plans, what it came down to was just feeling the energy that was there beneath the surface and had previously been buried too deep to access.

What I realised is that I was feeling old anger toward my body, anger that goes back 12 years to when I was seriosuly ill for the first time in my life. I was 27 years old and disabled by what stress and trauma had done to my body. I did a lot of self-healing back then as part of integrating my Spiritual Emergency of 1998 but I don’t think I had really connected with the anger, disappointment, helplessness and frustration I felt towards my body for what I saw as it letting me down.

At 27 years of age I had felt betrayed by my body. Here I am now with similar but much milder symptoms. They are showing me where these unresolved feelings have been sitting, waiting to be acknowledged and brought back into the field of loving acceptance.

If you feel hurt, betrayed or let down by a family member, you won’t heal it by papering over the cracks and trying to be nice to each other. The pain will be sitting beneath the surface influencing and colouring every interaction with that person and affecting your own well-being. Those true feelings, whatever they are need to be met if you are going to move on and if love is going to have a chance of flowing again.

If having tried everything there is simply no way to sort things with some people, we can let them go (in love) or at least take some serious time out. With our bodies obviously we cannot do that, we are committed!

This is what I felt bubbling up inside me last Sunday morning, the feeling of being trapped in a room with no doors or windows with someone who has betrayed me, hurt me and let me down. I felt like screaming. This is apparently a common feeling for those suffering chronic illness or disability but I had not connected with the intensity of these feelings 12 years ago so there they sat in my energy body creating unhealthy patterns. These patterns have at times caused me to push my body, disconnect from it, ignore it, over-give and work too hard. All the while in recent years my body has got bigger and bigger and the symptoms worse and worse as my body tried to get my attention.

So now I am listening, really listening thanks to Stacy. I am opening to an honest dialogue with my Body Deva, I am open to healing that relationship and am taking my time to do this authentically. It is an important step on my way back to love for my physical self and full health. The bigger picture is that this is ultimately part of my being able to ground more in my physical vessel and be a more effective conduit for Grounding the Light and being that interface of spirit and matter that defines the human/spiritual experience.

It really is just the beginning of a new healing cycle and I’ll keep you posted.
If you can relate to anything I have shared in this post please share your story by posting a comment below. I’d love to hear them.

Love and blessings,

Kimberley ♥

KIMBERLEY JONES
Energy Tools and Soul Skills….for an awakening world
My blog site has now moved to www.kimberleyjones.com Hope to see you there!

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CONTACT: Stacy Vajta – Expanded Pathways www.expandedpathways.com

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♥ SHARING IS CARING: Please rate it, like it and share it! Thank you ♥