I was always a very sensitive, intuitive child but since my Spiritual Emergency in 1998 my system has been even more sensitive with multiple enhanced senses making every day both intense and magical. As deeper levels of my healing and spiritual transformation have continued over the years I would say some things have got easier and others harder.
There seems to be a myth floating around in the spiritual world that one day when you are awake and enlightened everything will be perfect and heavenly, you won’t feel any pain or ‘negative’ emotions and everything will be love and sparkles. Equally there seems to be a subtle judgement that if you are reeling from a real life challenge or experiencing ill health then you must be doing your spirituality the wrong way, are out of the vortex, using the wrong tools, disconnected from Source or far from God.
If my awakening process had been blissful or even relatively gradual or pleasant I think I might carry that judgement too. However, intuitively this view just feels so damaging.
My spiritual transformation process has been a toughie. My physical sensitivity and symptoms over the years have largely kept me grounded and from rushing ahead too fast. It seems I was to experience a little taste of every kind of suffering, maybe so I could empathise with most people and judge few? It’s a work in progress. But most of all my deep learning has been to not judge suffering, pain or feelings themselves as a sign of a person doing something wrong. It simply isn’t very helpful.
Maybe I have come to that conclusion because I have had a lot of challenges and don’t want to be seen as a spiritual ‘failure’ because of it. I cry freely and regularly, experience things deeply and don’t feel very zen-like at all so perhaps I am just trying to convince myself that I am just as spiritually worthy as all those apparently super-composed spiritual teachers out there.
Actually what I do know is that I know what I know and I feel what I feel. Comparing yourself with others or some arbitrary external spiritual standard is just exhausting. I have an intensely deep relationship with the Source of all life and a keen grasp of the language of energy that runs through existence. That isn’t boasting, it’s fact. Another fact is that along the way my body has been the barometer of my transformation and right now it is kicking off and I am feeling a LOT.
After using all my own tools and spiritual practices I was not feeling any better. I realised I am in another deep growth and transformation phase and my body is feeling it. The message? Take it easy and allow the process. Get help and support, stop trying to do all this alone. Take time to align your lifestyle with the new you that is emerging. Take time to adjust your outer life so it can come into synch with the higher frequency inner energies that are flooding your system.
What, not ANOTHER new me?
Of course. Because there is always more. While I am alive I will be growing and so will you.
OK. So I contacted my nutritionist friend and I saw the doctor. I was given a whole shopping list of labels to play with; Chronic Fatigue, Adrenal Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, IBS etc etc. All the conditions that no doctor fully understands but sees a lot of. It has taken me years to see medicine as a blessing and I’m getting there. I appreciate the labels because it gives me something to work with. I know it’s all energy, but it’s energy manifesting as very real and debilitating symptoms in my body that are affecting my life so I am not going to sit on a cloud and try to meditate it away. Not this time.
I am letting go into the feelings, breathing and allowing but my lesson is also to really accept, celebrate and nurture my physicality not deny it or judge it as somehow being less spiritual.
The best thing I have done for myself and my well-being for a long time is to follow my intuition right to a lady called Stacy Vajta. She is a gifted energy intuitive and healer. I had my first session a few days ago and it was AMAZING. It felt so good to surrender control to someone I could trust, who worked in a similar way to me and was far more experienced.
It was also a relief to work with someone who holds both the higher perspective of me as a being of energy and light but also a very grounded view of my needing to embody that light in a very earthed way. Right up my street! I’ve been hearing a mantra daily for the last few years: “We are here to ground the light” so the way Stacy works sings right into my heart.
She has already helped me to realise that because I’ve been doing so much work with Source my wires are a bit overloaded. It is basically ‘light fatigue’ and I need help recalibrating and upgrading my inner wiring to cope with the increase in light. You really can have too much of a good thing it seems. Quite simply I need to do more of what I am always teaching others to do…GROUND!
For me however Stacy suggested I need to anchor myself in the new Earth energies. Just as each of us is rising in vibration as we move through spiritual transformation so too is the earthy flesh of our planet and I need to link into that crystalline web consciously and more often. I’m embarrassed to say that I was taking it for granted that in doing my normal grounding I must be already doing this. Apparently not and my body has been struggling as a result. All it took was a few little tweaks during the healing session (done remotely via Skype by the way!) and a new coating on my energy wiring so I can stream the light without getting fried and I was good to go. I felt the shift instantly.
My homework? To consciously link into the new earth energies each day using my intention, imagination, visualisation or whatever other way feels good.
I immediately knew I had to sketch a quick energy ‘device’. As an energy artist I don’t create art for what it looks like so much but for how it feels and how it expresses and influences energy. So I grabbed some pastels for speed and got the basics of what I needed to anchor me into the new Earth energy grid. You can see the very rough image below. I expect I’ll add to it over the coming weeks but I wanted to share that first raw ‘channelling’ with you. I am meditating with it, standing over it, breathing into it and carrying it around with me basically everywhere right now. My homeopath and hypnotherapist friend Anne Marshall said I had created my very own multi-dimensional essence!
I’m really looking forward to my next session with Stacy and to sharing the journey and results with you!
Love and blessings,
Energy Tools & Soul Skills…for an awakening world!
My blog site has now moved to www.kimberleyjones.com Hope to see you there!
Stacy Vajta – Expanded Pathways
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